A way through depression

Depression is a truly horrible state – if you've never experienced it you may not be able to understand the sheer weight of it, the way it drags you down and saps your energy, leaving you exhausted for no apparent reason. Nothing makes you happy. Everything seems impossibly difficult and just out of reach. You may be anxious, irritable, raging at the world and yourself (especially yourself). You may have suicidal thoughts – because, after all, at least that would be a way out.

You probably feel isolated and alone, unable to communicate your distress to anyone, perhaps even those closest to you. In the midst of depression you may fear pushing people away if you show them how you truly feel. You find it virtually impossible to accept or live with yourself, so why would anyone else accept or want to be around you? Better to pull the duvet over your head; turn off the phone; retreat into your own little world, where at least you feel safe.

But you are far from alone. In fact, millions of people across the globe feel very much like you. Depression is a natural, normal human state. In fact, biologists believe that animals get depressed too – as Paul Gilbert describes in his wonderful book, Overcoming Depression: A Self-Help Guide Using Cognitive Behavioral Techniques, it's an evolutionary response to threat. When we feel fearful or threatened we withdraw to protect ourselves, shutting down our mental and bodily systems as we wait the threat out. When it has passed we emerge again, blinking, into the light.

The problem is, because humans are such sophisticated social animals, we are surrounded by potential threats all the time: the handsome guy flirting with our girlfriend; the boss who berates us in front of colleagues; the bank threatening to foreclose if we can't pay the mortgage; global warming; terrorism; MRSA; swine flu... it's a wonder we don't run away and live in a cave.

And worse than this, because of the lives we lead – hectic, stressed out, sedentary, drinking too much and eating crap, doing jobs we may hate to buy stuff we don't really need – as well as the difficulties we may have had as children (not forgetting our inherited genes, of course) we may think about ourselves and the world in ways that elevate this threat response out of all proportion to the real-world threats we face. This makes us angry, agitated, hostile, belligerent; or nervous, passive, unable to assert ourselves or stay safe in a demanding world. The result? Stress, anxiety and depression – the three most common psychological ailments, affecting one in four of us at any given time.

But the good news is that by changing the way we think about ourselves, the people around us and the life events that befall us, we can make a profound difference to our mood. Crucially, we must learn to be compassionate, because people with a 'depressed mindset' tend to be extremely harsh and self-critical, beating themselves up for every perceived failing, however minor. And we need to work on challenging the beliefs we hold about ourselves and others, like:

• 'I'm no good at anything.'
• 'I'll never be a success.'
• 'I am unlovable.'
• 'I am boring.'
• 'People can never be trusted.'

These 'core beliefs', which we usually learn in childhood, lie at the very heart of our psyche, fuelling those harsh and negative thoughts that drag us down into depression. Using simple but powerful cognitive therapy techniques we can learn to first spot, then challenge these beliefs and eventually change them. Just because depression is a natural state, we don't have to accept or wallow in it. Change is possible – and you can find a way through depression.