All you need is love

When it comes to relationships, everyone is different. Some people (extroverts) seem to thrive on a life packed with friends, acquaintances and family members. They need to be busy, to spend most of their waking hours being stimulated and supported by other people. Others (the more introverted) prefer a small number of close friendships. Unlike the more gregarious types, what they crave is quiet, solitude and time to digest the day's events. So as with most things in life, there is no right number of friends, lovers, parents, children, cousins, colleagues and neighbours that equals a rich, happy life.

But a few things are universal to us all. Humans are social animals, so very few among us can live happily with barely any daily contact. Other people stimulate us emotionally and intellectually; good friends provide much-needed support when times are hard, then laughter and silliness when life goes easier on us; giving of ourselves, whether it's to ageing parents or those less fortunate than ourselves, is a good way to fill our lives with satisfaction and meaning. It helps us see the many tiny things we take for granted in our lives and feel gratitude for them.

We all need to love and be loved – that is a basic human need, like warmth, food and shelter. And that love doesn't have to be romantic. Many of us struggle to find lasting intimate relationships, but good friendships last a lifetime – longer than most marriages these days. And two close friends, who know you deeply and accept you with all your strengths and weaknesses, dark and shade, are worth 50 acquaintances.

And I think human touch is something we undervalue in the West. In a country like the UK, where we put a great deal of effort into protecting our personal space, we may go through whole days without feeling another's touch. A friendly hug or comforting arm round the shoulders can offer as much solace as a thousand words.

So – particularly if you struggle with chronic stress, depression, loneliness or a sense that life lacks meaning – remember to invest in your relationships with as much energy and vigour as you do your career. I truly believe that other people (well, the right people, not the ones who sap your energies or make you unhappy) are a powerful force for good in our lives. So pick up the phone and call someone you've neglected of late, or meet an old friend for coffee. You'll feel better for it.

Best wishes,

Dan 

Tags: Anger management, Anxiety, Chronic worrying, Depression, Mental health, Relationships, Stress