Simple relaxation techniques

When you are stressed or anxious, it's often hard to relax. So you will probably have a great deal of tension in your muscles – this is one reason for the muscular aches and pains, headaches, stiff neck, tight chest and back pain people suffering from stress or anxiety often experience. Learning to relax is a vital step on your route back to health and happiness. It's also an excellent way to combat insomnia.

Before I explain the techniques, a couple of general points. First, like any new skill, you may find these techniques take practice to master. Think of it like learning a musical instrument: you wouldn't expect to sit at a piano and play a complex classical piece on your first day. Your stress or anxiety may have been building over months or even years, so it will take time to conquer.

Second, the more you try these techniques when you are not stressed, anxious or upset, the more skilled you will become and so can use them even when you feel overwhelmed (I find that many clients can't use self-help techniques when they are having a rough time – which is, of course, when they need them the most). And then the key is to use them all the time. Like other cognitive therapy techniques, these are lifelong skills, available to you whenever your symptoms return.

Abdominal breathing

This simple breathing exercise is a powerful way to reduce stress or anxiety. When you become anxious, your respiration becomes fast and shallow 'chest breathing'. This can cause hyperventilation, as you inhale too much oxygen and become dizzy and light-headed. Instead, you need to breathe deeply from the abdomen, which turns off your ‘stress response’ and switches on your ‘relaxation response’.

1. Find somewhere private and quiet, then sit comfortably and close your eyes. Take a deep breath through your nose to a slow count of four. Imagine you are completely filling your lungs with each in-breath.

2. Exhale through your mouth to a slow count of five. Imagine that you are completely emptying your lungs on each out-breath.

3. Continue to breath slowly, deeply and evenly, in through your nose and out through your mouth. If you are breathing deeply, you should naturally feel your abdoment rising on the in-breath and falling on the out-breath – don’t force this or worry if your abdomen isn’t moving. Breathing slowly and deeply is the most important thing.

4. Repeat this cycle for at least five deep breaths in and out.

5. Once you feel comfortable with this exercise, continue for up to five minutes. The key here is to breathe slowly and deeply – this has the physiological effect of slowing your heart rate and sending messages to the brain that everything's fine, you can relax.

Progressive muscular relaxation (PMR)

It's important to breathe slowly and regularly while doing this exercise. Tense your muscles, without straining, and concentrate on the sensation of tension. Hold for about five seconds, then let go of the tension for 10-15 seconds. Tune into the sensation of how your muscles feel when you relax them.

1. Feet. Pull your toes back and tense the muscles in your feet. Relax and repeat.

2. Legs. Straighten your legs and point your toes upward. Relax, let your legs go limp and repeat.

3. Abdomen. Tense your stomach muscles by pulling them up and in. Relax and repeat.

4. Back. Arch your back. Relax and repeat.

5. Shoulders & neck. Shrug your shoulders hard, bringing them up and in towards your chest and pressing your head back. Relax and repeat.

6. Arms & hands. Stretch our your arms and hands. Relax, let your arms hang limp and repeat.

7. Face. Tense your forehead and jaw, lower your eyebrows and bite hard (taking care not to bite your tongue). Relax and repeat.

8. Whole body. Finally, tense your entire body: feet, legs, abdomen, back, shoulders and neck, arms and face. Hold the tension for a few seconds, relax and repeat.

If you still feel tense at the end of the routine, go through it again. If only certain body parts still feel tense, repeat the exercise in those areas. When you have finished and feel relaxed, stay where you are for a few moments, then stand up slowly and stretch gently.