Depression

How to look after your Vulnerable Child

One of the most important ideas in schema therapy is that we all have different 'modes' – aspects of our personality that get triggered in different situations. For example, many of us have a Demanding Parent mode, which is the part of us that pushes us hard to achieve and be successful. Because this mode pushes us too hard, it can lead to stress, exhaustion or burnout, because our drive to achieve exceeds our internal resources and so we struggle to cope with the relentless demands. 

Another part – the most important one in schema therapy – is the Vulnerable Child mode. We call this Little Dave, or Sue, or Steven, and so on (mine is called Little Dan) and it's the part that holds all of our vulnerability, anxiety, unhappiness, loneliness, feelings of rejection or being bullied, depending on our experiences as a child. For example, if your parents were harshly critical of you throughout your childhood, this part will feel defective and incompetent – as if nothing you ever do is good enough. If one of your parents died or left the family when you were young, your Vulnerable Child will feel abandoned and, as an adult, you will be hypersensitive to being left or rejected by those you love. 

In schema therapy, we work hard to look after this part of you – to help him or her feel protected, safe, cared for. In fact, we try to meet those core needs that were not met when you were a child. So if your parents were flaky or untrustworthy, as your therapist I would work very hard to be a solid, dependable, trustworthy person for you. If one or both of your parents was cold and unloving, I would try to be extra-warm, friendly and kind. In this way (as well as using all of the schema therapy techniques, especially imagery) we would, over time, heal your Vulnerable Child – and help you feel calmer, stronger, more confident and secure. It's quite magical to watch this transformation take place – even with the deepest, most sensitive wounds.

Caring for yourself

Of course, you don't need schema therapy to start this healing process yourself. Learning to be kinder and more compassionate to yourself is a good start – take a course in mindfulness, visit a Buddhist centre near you or check out Dr Kristin Neff's website, where there are many free resources on self-compassion training. Yoga is another great way to heal your mind and body, as is reading one of the many wonderful self-help books available – try Loving-Kindness: The Revolutionary Art of Happiness, by Sharon Salzberg; or Get Your Life Back: The Most Effective Therapies for a Better You, by Fiona Kennedy and David Pearson, for starters. If you are using alcohol, drugs or food to deal with painful emotions, you may need help to tackle your compulsive behaviour. Visit my Resources page to find a whole range of useful organisations working in this area.

It is my strong belief that, whatever has happened to us in our past, it is never too difficult or too late to change. You may not be able to do this on your own – if so, seek help from me, another schema therapist or any psychotherapist sufficiently well trained and competent to tackle deep-rooted problems. Ultimately, healing yourself begins with a decision – that you are worthy of love and happiness; that you do not want to spend the rest of your life suffering because of painful experiences that were not your choice, not your fault in any way. We only have one life, so it's up to all of us to make the most of it, however hard it has been up to now.

If you would like some help, call me on 07766 704210, email dan@danroberts.com or use the contact form to get in touch.

Warm wishes,

Dan 

 

 

How to deal with difficult emotions

If you want to understand how we are meant to feel emotions, look at a small child. When kids feel their emotions they really feel them! If they are angry, they will shout and scream and have a tantrum. If they are sad, they will cry. If they're scared, they will run away, or hide behind their mum's legs until the threat has passed. Now, I'm not saying that as adults we should indulge ourselves in tantrums, but neither should we repress or swallow our feelings.

Sadly, as we grow older we tend to stiffen up. We learn that (for men) it's not OK to cry when we are sad, or to tell our friends if we're going through a rough time. Or (for women) that being angry or assertive is unacceptable. We start to feel bad for feeling bad. We learn to hide our feelings, sometimes even from ourselves. Or we use a substance (alcohol/weed/cocaine/food/cigarettes) or an activity (gambling/hours spent on Facebook/gaming/shopping/sex) to numb or avoid uncomfortable feelings like anxiety, sadness, loneliness, anger or hurt. And the message we are giving ourselves is that emotions are somehow bad, wrong or even threatening.

Let's go back to the kids. Watch a child getting angry: they feel the anger, intensely. Then they release it, verbally and physically. Then they seek a trusted person to soothe and comfort them. And then... the anger is gone. They see a butterfly and chase after it, utterly delighted and distracted, with no trace of the anger left in their body or mind. This is how we are supposed to feel, process and seek solace when we experience strong emotion. I have started summing it up for my schema therapy clients with a simple formula:

1. Feel it. If you're sad, be sad. If you are angry, let yourself be angry. It's just an emotion and can't do you any harm – in fact, the only harm we can do is if we try to avoid the emotion (leading to problems like addiction or anxiety disorders such as OCD).

2. Release it. If you are sad, and alone, have a cry. If you're angry, write a (never-to-be-sent) letter to the person you're angry with, then burn or tear it into tiny pieces. Vent the emotion and let it go.

3. Get soothed (by yourself or a trusted person). Just as children need soothing when they are upset, so do adults – we're just not very good at doing it for ourselves or seeking it from those we love and trust.

Learning to detach

One of the unconscious ways we learn to suppress or avoid our feelings is by detaching, which involves a psychological process called 'dissociation'. This is something we all do, to a greater or lesser extent, but will have learned to do a great deal if we suffered trauma, abuse or neglect as a child. Dissociation is an unconscious process in which the brain shuts down to protect us from overwhelming stress. It's a bit like a fuse blowing on a circuit board when there is a power surge, to stop electrical devices getting fried.

If we dissociate a lot as a child, it becomes an automatic process that we over-use, shutting down when we feel any kind of difficult emotion. This leads to us developing a 'mode' called the Detached Protector – one of the most common modes in my clients. We may feel numb, empty or spacey when this mode is triggered. We might also feel disconnected from other people, even experiencing strange sensations such as feeling far away, seeing the other person as very small, or feeling like there is a glass wall between us and the world. These are all common symptoms of dissociation.

None of this is bad or wrong – it's just what we learn to do to protect ourselves from overwhelming pain or stress. Part of my job is helping people unlearn this unhelpful coping strategy, feel their emotions as described above, and learn to build up their 'emotional muscles', so they feel stronger, more resilient, and can live a rich and fulfilling life. After all, emotions – the full range, both those we like and the ones we would rather not feel – are what make us human.

If you would like some help with your uncomfortable emotions, call me on 07766 704210, email dan@danroberts.com or use the contact form to get in touch.

Warm wishes,

Dan

 

How to deal with suicidal thoughts

If you are having suicidal thoughts, you are not alone. Sadly, thinking about harming yourself is extremely common. And tragically, many people in the UK and around the world take that one step further and either attempt to hurt themselves or succeed in taking their life. In the UK, suicide is the leading cause of death among men under 50 – more than heart disease, cancer or road accidents.

But it doesn't have to be this way. I have worked with hundreds of people who had thoughts of harming themselves – and helped them see that suicide is not the answer. It is devastating for those left behind. It might seem like the only solution, but it never is. And suicidal thoughts come and go, so if we can help people through the worst – often quite short – period of time, those thoughts and impulses will naturally recede.  

Helping with depression

One of the most important messages I give people is that thoughts of suicide are completely natural, especially when we are feeling depressed. That's because our thinking becomes very negative and it's hard to see anything good in life, or to believe that things will ever get better. Depression is also really tough to deal with day to day, so ending your life seems like a way to stop the pain. But we can now treat depression extremely effectively with CBT, so once your mood lifts you will no longer feel that way. 

It's heartbreaking for me every time I hear of someone taking their own life, because I always think, It didn't have to be that way. Someone could have helped them and they would still be here today.

Mental-health professionals know that some psychological problems bring greater risk than others. These include depression, alcohol abuse, anorexia, psychosis and schizophrenia, bipolar disorder and 'personality disorders' like Borderline Personality Disorder. So if you or someone you love is suffering from one of these problems, please do keep an eye on them. Reach out to them often and ask how they are. Also be straight and say, 'I'm worried about you, are you thinking of killing yourself?' Just asking that question could help save their life, because if the answer is yes you should contact their GP or one of the numbers below.

If you are reading this and thinking of hurting yourself, please don't. Tell someone, even if it seems like the hardest thing in the world. I promise you that help is available – and that, a year from now, you will look back and feel the deepest gratitude that you kept yourself safe and can still enjoy all of the wonderful things life has to offer.

Warm wishes,

Dan

If you are thinking of taking your own life, or know someone who might be, please call one of the numbers below:

The Samaritans – available 24 hours a day, 365 days a year on 116 123 or email jo@samaritans.org

Childline – for children and young people under 19. Call 0800 1111 – the number won't show up on your phone bill

The Silver Line – for older people. Call 0800 4 70 80 90

SANE provides confidential support for people with mental-health problems, every day of the year from 4.30pm to 10.30pm on 0300 304 7000

Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM) – for men. Call 0800 58 58 58 – 5pm to midnight every day

Papyrus – for people under 35. Call 0800 068 41 41 – Monday to Friday 10am to 10pm, weekends 2pm to 10pm, bank holidays 2pm to 5pm. Text 07786 209697 or email pat@papyrus-uk.org

 

 

How chronic pain and illness affect your mood

As I sit writing this, I am in a moderate amount of pain. Like millions of people around the world, I suffer from chronic musculoskeletal (back and hip) problems, so most days come with either a small or large dose of pain, depending on how well I am looking after myself, how stressed I am, how much sitting I do that day, and various other factors.

Having been in some degree of daily pain for almost two years now, I have learned a few things about the relationship between physical pain and mental suffering:

  • It's important to distinguish between 'primary' and 'secondary' pain. I learned this from Vidyamala Burch, founder of the excellent Breathworks. This organisation provides the Mindfulness-Based Pain Management programme, which has a strong research base behind it and helps many people in the UK and beyond deal with chronic pain and illness.

  • Burch also co-wrote Mindfulness for Health: A Practical Guide to Relieving Pain, Reducing Stress and Restoring Wellbeing with Danny Penman. In this superb book the authors explain that primary pain is the actual raw data caused by, say, a gash in your leg. Intriguingly, the majority of the pain you end up experiencing is secondary – the pain created by your brain as it amplifies that raw data, depending on the way you think about and respond to your primary pain.

  • This only became clear to me recently when I visited my osteopath during a bad patch physically, feeling down and hopeless about resolving my problems. He reminded me that the pain was significantly better now than when I first came to see him; and that it was crucial to remain as positive as possible, because my negative thoughts ('I will never get over this'; 'Nothing will help'; 'I can't stand the pain any more') were undoubtedly making the pain worse (this is essentially what the Buddha taught – that human life inevitably involves pain, but we create suffering by our response to that pain. But that's a topic for another day).

Managing the pain

I think it's important to note here just how hard it is to maintain a positive, optimistic mood in the face of chronic pain or illness. As anyone with a long-term condition knows, it grinds you down, especially when it flares up or your symptoms get worse for whatever reason. Please don't think I underestimate the impact of physical ailments on your mood – it is a struggle and gets everyone down from time to time, as well as causing stress and worry/anxiety about the future.

I couldn't understand that vicious cycle any better. But once you understand the relationship between pain sensations in the body and the way that your brain either amplifies or minimises those sensations, it seems crucial to me that you do all you can to use your brain/mind to help your body.

 When I first hurt my back and was really struggling, Vidyamala Burch's guided meditations really helped pull me through. Here is a great one on being more compassionate to yourself, available for free, if you would like to try it. And if you are dealing with chronic pain or illness, my thoughts and well wishes go out to you – I hope you get the medical help you need and manage to overcome your problem soon.

If you would like some help with the psychological aspects of your condition, call me on 07766 704210, email dan@danroberts.com or use my Contact form to get in touch.

Warm wishes,

Dan

Are you a Highly Sensitive Person?

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I have been reading a self-help book recently by Elaine N Aron – an American clinical psychologist who has spent her career researching, writing about and providing therapy to Highly Sensitive Persons (HSPs). Aron discovered this group and set about testing her theory that some people are more sensitive than most – she believes HSPs make up about 20 per cent of the population. Her book, The Highly Sensitive Person: How to Thrive When the World Overwhelms You, is written for HSPs like herself, as she is an unusually sensitive individual too. 

I must admit that this book has had a huge impact on me. Not only does it describe at least 90 per cent of the people I work with, but it also describes me with eye-opening accuracy. HSPs, according to Aron, have an unusually sensitive nervous system. This means that they pick up on far more of the information in their environments than less-sensitive people. They are affected by bright lights, loud noises, crowds and strong smells. If there is tension in a room, they will pick it up and find it uncomfortable. They will intuit which people in a group are friends and who dislikes each other. They are like tuning forks for subtle interpersonal vibes.

Aron is quick to point out that being an HSP does not make us superior to our less-sensitive friends, family members or colleagues. This sensitivity is a trait – largely genetic but also affected by our life experiences – that is neutral. In some ways, it is a real advantage – I always tell my clients that I could not be a schema therapist without a high level of sensitivity. Being this sensitive makes me, and all other HSPs, more thoughtful, empathic, attuned to other people and their needs, as well as a whole host of other good things.

Sensitivity is no bad thing

But perhaps the most important point that Aron makes – and one I really want you to take on board – is that being sensitive is in no way a bad thing. I don't know about you, but all my life people have told me I should be less sensitive. 'It's just a joke – stop taking things so seriously!' Or, 'Why do you always make such a big deal about things? Just man up and toughen up, for God's sake.' Don't be so shy/introverted; be the life and soul, speak louder, be more of a 'character'. 

For men especially, sensitivity is often seen as a weakness, or something to be ashamed of. Many HSPs get bullied at school, for precisely this reason. And extra-sensitive women are often told they are crazy, or over-emotional, because they feel things deeply and cannot just lighten up, or get a grip, or let it go. So if this describes you, please understand that there is nothing wrong with you – and certainly nothing to be ashamed of. You are just genetically, temperamentally, a bit different from most other people. This probably means that you have been very much affected by difficulties in your childhood, or family of origin.

You may have an anxiety disorder, or get depressed. You may even have personality problems, or struggle with addiction. All of these things need help, from a professional like me or one of my colleagues, who are trained to help sensitive people (and less-sensitive ones, of course) become happier and healthier. I would also strongly recommend reading this book. And if it describes you, give it to your partner, friends and family, so they can better understand you and why you behave as you do.

If you would like some help, call me on 07766 704210, email dan@danroberts.com or use the contact form to get in touch.

Warm wishes,

Dan

 

 

 

How self-criticism affects your mental health

It's common sense that being overly harsh or self-critical in your thinking will have a negative impact on your mood, confidence and overall wellbeing. But I think it's important to understand exactly why this is the case. Because of the miracle of magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) scans, we now have an intimate knowledge of how the brain operates under stress. We can see which parts of the brain 'light up' when we are feeling stressed or attacked – this is known as the 'threat system', a powerful self-protective network in the brain that detects and responds to any kind of danger or threat.

When you engage in self-critical thinking, calling yourself an idiot, or saying you are stupid or useless – especially if your internal dialogue has an harsh or hostile tone – MRI scans show the same threat system lights up in your brain as if someone else was shouting at or scolding you. It's no surprise that this kind of thinking is closely linked with depression, problems with anger and anxiety, as well as a lack of confidence or low self-esteem.

When you speak to yourself harshly, it's as if there is a bully in your head judging everything you say or do and putting you down at every turn. Not helpful. If you do tend to engage in self-critical thinking, try the following exercise to start being kinder to yourself:

The best friend test

When you make a mistake, have a setback or feel like you have failed at something important to you, you might find yourself slipping into a well-worn groove of negative, self-critical thinking: 'I am such a loser – why do I always screw things up?', or 'God, that was pathetic, I really am a failure.'

Unsurprisingly, these words will hurt and you will find your mood dipping and confidence ebbing away.

Instead, try to start noticing when you talk to yourself like that and take a step back. Imagine your best friend had just made the same mistake, had a setback or failed at something they valued. What would you say to them? Would you be harsh, mocking or critical? Probably not. I'm guessing you would try to be supportive, encouraging and help them see that it wasn't the end of the world.

You might say things like, 'Don't worry, it seems bad right now but you will feel better about it soon,' or 'Everybody makes mistakes sometimes – that doesn't make you stupid or a bad person, just human.'

Now try and start talking to yourself in the same way. If you notice that self-critical thinking kicking in, use the Best Friend Test to be a bit more kind and compassionate to yourself. Over time, it will help you feel calmer, stronger and more at peace. After all, life is hard enough, so why make it harder by being unkind to yourself?

If you would like to book a session, call me on 07766 704210, email dan@danroberts.com or use the contact form to get in touch.

Warm wishes,

Dan

Schema therapy or CBT – which is right for you?

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If you are struggling with psychological problems, you may be thinking about having some therapy – but which kind of therapy should you choose? I am trained in both cognitive behaviour therapy (CBT) and schema therapy – two of the most effective forms of 'talking therapy' currently available – and provide schema therapy at my North London practice. Here is a guide to which therapy is the best fit for different kinds of problems...

CBT is widely recognised to be the most effective, evidence-based form of therapy ever created. Founded by Dr Aaron Beck in the 1960s (originally as just 'cognitive therapy' – the B was added later on), CBT has been proven to be effective at treating depression, anxiety disorders such as OCD or health anxiety, panic attacks and agoraphobia, eating disorders, anger management problems, addiction... the list goes on.

If your problem is relatively short-term (for example, one episode of depression rather than many); if you are functioning fairly well in most aspects of your life, but struggling with a specific problem like anxiety or depression; if you would prefer a short-term treatment; and if, perhaps, you have had CBT before and found it helpful, or have been recommended CBT by your GP or another medical professional, then CBT is probably the right choice for you. It is always possible to have CBT to reduce upsetting symptoms, such as panic attacks, and then move on to schema therapy afterwards to address more deep-rooted problems.

When schema therapy is the best option

In general, it's best to opt for schema therapy (ST) if your problems are longstanding – for example, if you have been struggling with recurrent episodes of depression for much of your life. Problems related to a difficult childhood, to extremely critical parents, say, or if you experienced abuse, neglect or traumatic incidents as a child, are best treated with schema therapy. CBT will be helpful up to a point, but schema therapy is designed to heal painful/unhelpful ways of thinking, feeling and behaving at a deep level – otherwise you may find problems coming back after therapy when you experience a period of stress, say, or a relationship breakup.

Schema therapy was developed by Dr Jeffrey Young in the 1990s to treat people with personality problems – especially Borderline Personality Disorder, which can have a profound effect on someone's life and was poorly treated before approaches like schema therapy and dialectical behaviour therapy (DBT) came along. Because it's intended to help with deep-rooted problems, schema therapy is a slower, longer-term approach than CBT. Generally, I tell my clients that 20 sessions are the minimum – and therapy can last for a year or more for really hard-to-treat problems. It's important to note that schema therapy is not just for personality problems – it is now used to treat all of the difficulties people seek therapy for.

In terms of how it feels to have ST versus CBT,  I would say that schema therapy is a warmer, more compassionate, more nurturing approach than CBT. It's much more focused on the relationship between therapist and client, rather than specific techniques to change thinking or behaviour, which form the bulk of treatment in CBT. But of course because schema therapy is just a newer form of cognitive therapy, all of the CBT techniques are still available, if I think they will be helpful for you.

I hope that helps – but if you would like to know more about which form of therapy might be best for you, call me on 07766 704210 or email dan@danroberts.com

Warm wishes,

Dan 

 

Can anxiety lead to depression?

Although it's common for people to suffer from mixed anxiety and depression, and both problems have negative thinking at their root, there are key differences between the two. When we are anxious, our thinking will be overwhelming threat-related – we worry about danger of some kind, or bad things happening to us or those we love. When we are depressed, our thinking commonly focuses on themes of loss, regrets about the past, being stuck or trapped, or feeling hopeless about the future. So in cognitive therapy we treat depression and anxiety in different ways, based on different theoretical models and using slightly different techniques.

But something I often see is that people with an anxiety 'disorder', such as health or social anxiety, over time become depressed as well. Although this can be doubly frustrating and upsetting for the person, who now has depression to deal with on top of their anxiety problem, if you think about the effect that chronic anxiety problems have on us, it's not surprising. Let's take health anxiety as an example: when someone's worry and anxiety focus on their health, they will be hypersensitive to any physical symptoms, however minor, such as headaches or variations in their heartbeat. For the health-anxious person these – usually benign – symptoms mean they have a brain tumour or life-threatening heart condition.

Anxiety can be exhausting

Clearly, this is extremely worrying and upsetting for them, as they may spend most of their waking hours feeling highly anxious about getting a serious illness. Over time, this will wear them down – they may be sleeping badly, so will become physically and mentally drained and exhausted; they might feel emotionally wrung out from all the worrying; they may also feel stuck and hopeless about getting anyone to believe them, because doctors keep telling them there is nothing wrong, even though they are 100% sure there is. Put all this together and, over time, this poor health-anxious person may also become depressed.

In my experience though, if you help them overcome their health anxiety, the depression naturally lifts too. So it's very important that they get the right kind of help and support – if not, they might stay anxious and low for many years. I strongly believe that no-one should suffer from anxiety or depression in silence, because both problems are treatable with cognitive behaviour therapy (CBT). So please do get some help from me or another cognitive therapist soon.

If you would like to book a session, email dan@danroberts.com

Warm wishes,

Dan

Should you take antidepressants?

If you are struggling with anxiety, or have been depressed for a few weeks and visit your GP, they are likely to prescribe antidepressants. But should you take them? And is medication really what you need? In a large number of cases, I think not. Before I explain why, let me be really clear – if you are severely depressed, your mood may be so low that some of the alternatives I'm about to suggest just won't work. In that case, you may need a course of antidepressants to lift your mood enough for talking therapy, for example, to work.

If you have bipolar disorder, you will probably need to take a combination of different medications, such as a mood stabiliser and possibly antidepressants. And, crucially, if you are currently taking antidepressants you should never stop taking them without consulting your psychiatrist or GP. This can be extremely risky, so please don't do it.

That said, I do worry that many hard-pressed GPs now dole out antidepressants far too easily. I don't blame them for this – they have so little time with patients now that they are often forced into the simple solution that medication represents. They may also want to refer a patient for a talking therapy such as cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT), but know the waiting list is so long it would not be helpful for someone who was struggling (some of my clients say they faced a 12-month wait for CBT on the NHS – an impossibly long time to wait if you're in a bad way).

One of the biggest problems with antidepressants, though, is that they only help with the symptoms of depression as long as you're taking them. When you stop, unless you have addressed the issues that made you depressed in the first place (like negative or overly self-critical thinking, or low self-esteem) you are likely to get depressed again. That's why all the evidence shows that combining antidepressants with psychotherapy is far more effective than the meds alone.

Research also shows that regular cardiovascular exercise is just as effective as antidepressants for mild to moderate depression. As is mindfulness-based cognitive therapy (MBCT), which is especially good at preventing relapses. Both are completely free, once you've learned how to do them, have no nasty side effects and work straight away, unlike the 2-6 week wait for the meds to take effect.

So I'm not saying you should never take antidepressants – far from it. Just that they are powerful drugs that don't help everyone, have strong side effects and should not be taken lightly. And – especially for milder forms of anxiety or mild to moderate depression – other approaches work just as well.

If you would like to book a session with me, email dan@danroberts.com

Warm wishes,

Dan

Five common myths about cognitive therapy

In some ways, cognitive therapy is the victim of its own success. Since it was developed by Aaron Beck in the 60s, cognitive therapy (also known as cognitive behaviour therapy, or CBT) has become the dominant form of 'talking therapy' in numerous countries around the world, including the US and UK. This is mainly because it works so well – research consistently shows CBT to be the most effective form of therapy we currently have. But it's also about economics – the NHS has embraced it partly because it's cost-effective too. Many problems can be resolved in under 20 sessions, some (such as phobias) in five or six.

However, as I explain below, this is not how Beck intended cognitive therapy to be practised. His initial therapy model was a 20-session treatment for depression, which I think is about right for most people. I strongly disagree with the (financially-driven) short-term treatments many people receive on the NHS for anxiety, depression and other serious psychological problems. This is just one of the myths I try to bust with my clients, and when I am teaching cognitive therapy to students. Here are some more:

1. CBT is all about filling in forms

Not true. Although some CBT techniques do involve written work for clients (such as daily thought records), good cognitive therapy is based on the relationship between therapist and client. This should be warm, trusting and supportive, as with other approaches to counselling and psychotherapy. And many of the techniques I and other cognitive therapists use involve stories, metaphors, working with imagery, role-playing, mindfulness-based techniques, drawing, Gestalt-style 'empty-chair' work... none of which involve forms!

2. CBT is a short-term, quick-fix approach

Nope. In my own practice, I always tell people that there is no such thing as a quick fix for complex, highly sensitive problems; so our work will be slow and incremental. A few problems – especially 'specific phobias' – can be resolved quickly. Most others take time – somewhere between 10 and 20 sessions, in my experience; while deep-rooted, hard-to-shift problems might take a year or more.

3. Feelings are not important in cognitive therapy

Ironically, cognitive therapy is all about emotions. Despite the name (cognitions being all of the thoughts, values, beliefs, memories, etc that make up our minds) we only focus on changing unhelpful thinking because that has a powerful impact on feelings and moods. Nobody comes to therapy saying 'I want to think more rationally'! They come because they are hurting in some way; my job is to help them feel better on a consistent, long-lasting basis.

4. Cognitive therapy is all about positive thinking

A common myth, this one. In fact, cognitive therapy is all about rational, realistic, balanced thinking, which is not necessarily positive. If you are in a horrible job or relationship, thinking positively about it would be both impossible and unrealistic. Someone once said that cognitive therapy is all about seeing things as they really are. Life is full of pain, hardship, loss, struggle... as well as joy, wonder, love, delight. The key is to give both equal weight, rather than focusing purely on the negative (common to both anxiety and depression, in different ways).

5. CBT only offers superficial symptom-relief

A common criticism from my non-cognitive counselling/therapy peers. It's true that CBT can help people feel better much more quickly than other approaches. That's one of the reasons it's so popular and successful. But this is only the start. If you suffer from depression, say – which has a high chance of relapse – as well as helping you feel better in the short-term, my aim is to teach you new ways of thinking and behaving which protect you from depression in the long-term. Again, we have very good evidence to back this up, as well as my own experience of staying in touch with clients after therapy ends to see how they're doing.

So, hopefully you now have a clearer idea of what cognitive therapy is and is not. If you would like to book a session, email dan@danroberts.com

Warm wishes,

Dan

How to combat your inner critic

Many of us are self-critical, on a spectrum ranging from mild at one end to severe at the other. If we are mildly- self-critical, we might rebuke ourselves if something goes wrong, but not be too upset about it. If that criticism is harsh, we might be extremely sharp, even angry with ourselves – jumping on every mistake we make, however small, and beating ourselves up severely. Most, if not all, of my clients criticise themselves in this way.

One of the many things I love about schema therapy is that it's extremely effective at combatting this inner critic. We even have a name for this 'mode', or side of you – the Punitive Parent. This may simply be the internalised voice of one of your parents, especially if they were consistently harsh or judgemental with you when you were growing up.

Or it may be a way you learned to speak to yourself, perhaps if you felt unloved or flawed as a child, so assumed there must be something wrong with you that needed constant correction. For example, if you have a Defectiveness schema, you may have a frequent nagging sense that you're not good enough or a failure in some way. You might think that other people judge you harshly for these (supposed) defects, so you should judge yourself harshly too – either to make sure you don't repeat a mistake, or to try and pre-empt saying or doing things you will later regret and feel bad about. 

Battling the Punitive Parent

When I see people beating themselves up in this way, it always makes me sad. Nobody deserves to feel this bad about themselves – and, in schema therapy terms, the part of you that feels bad is your Vulnerable Child, who feels attacked and victimised by the Punitive Parent's constant belittling and criticism. There is a famous quote attributed to the Buddha. These are not exactly his words (most of the Buddha's 'quotes' we see on Facebook or floating around the Web are modern interpretations of what he actually said) but they carry the gist of what he wrote – and I love the sentiment behind them:

You, as much as anyone in the universe, deserve your love and respect.
— Buddha

You are worthy of love, kindness, respect. Whatever your flaws, real or imagined. However many things you have done in your life that you regret, or wish had turned out differently. That scared, vulnerable child inside you craves love and affection, not shaming and harsh rebukes. And all of the research shows that talking to yourself in that way is one of the things that makes you vulnerable to depression, chronic stress, problems with anxiety and anger. So it's very important that you learn to battle the Punitive Parent, to get it to shut up and leave you alone.

For many people, this is a central component of our work in schema therapy. You can also explore other avenues to defeat that critical voice, such as compassion-focused therapy (like schema therapy, a proven approach to increasing self-compassion, wellbeing and contentment), learning mindfulness meditation, or exploring Buddhism, which for 2,500 years has been helping people be kinder and more compassionate to themselves. See my Resources page to find out more about these and other routes to better mental health.

And if you would like my help with becoming less self-critical, email dan@danroberts.com

Warm wishes,

Dan

How mindfulness meditation helps with anxiety & depression

Mindfulness is a real buzzword at the moment. It's hard to pick up a newspaper without coming across an article extolling its virtues. Mindfulness meditation programmes have been introduced into corporations like Google and Facebook, as well as schools, government departments and a whole host of other settings – it feels like everyone has suddenly switched on to the power of meditation.

But what exactly is mindfulness and how can it help with psychological problems like depression or anxiety? The first thing to say is that, although we in the West are only learning about mindfulness now, in the East people have been using mindfulness techniques for 2,500 years. Mindfulness is a cornerstone of Buddhist practice, used to calm and focus the 'monkey mind' (which normally just jumps around from one thing to the next).

Mindfulness was first introduced into the medical mainstream by Jon Kabat-Zinn in the 1970s – he developed an eight week mindfulness-based stress reduction (MBSR) programme, to help people with chronic pain and other serious medical problems. This proved so successful that a team of psychologists adapted it to help people with psychological problems, especially recurrent episodes of depression. They called this new programme mindfulness-based cognitive therapy (MBCT) and it proved equally effective.

The key idea in mindfulness practice is learning to focus on your moment-to-moment experience, rather than being swept away by the storms of anxious or depressive thinking that drive psychological problems. As with both cognitive and schema therapy, we have a large body of evidence showing that mindfulness works. On a personal note, I have had a daily meditation practice for years, and absolutely vouch for its power to calm and centre me for the day ahead. I have also taught many clients to meditate and seen the huge impact it has had on their problems with anxiety and depression.

Here is a simple sitting meditation you can try right now:

    •    Switch your phone off, then set a timer for 10 minutes, so you don't have to worry about how long you’ve been meditating.
    •    Sit in a straight-backed chair, cross-legged on the floor or lie down. Try to relax your body, letting your shoulders drop and face muscles soften.
    •    Close your eyes and become aware of your breathing – the flow of air over your lips and nostrils, in and out. Don’t try to change your breathing in any way, just breathe naturally.
    •    If your mind gets bored and gets distracted (as it probably will), don't give up or get frustrated. Every time you notice your mind has wandered gently turn your attention back to your breathing until the timer goes off.
    •    Once you feel able to meditate for 10 minutes, extend the time to 15 minutes, then 20 minutes, and so on. And remember that, like anything, the more you practicemeditation the easier it gets.

If you would like to book a session with me, email dan@danroberts.com

Warm wishes,

Dan

When someone you love is depressed

It seems to me that we don't give enough help and support to the loved ones of people with mental health problems. If your partner, child, sibling or parent has a mental health problem like an anxiety disorder, depression or an eating disorder, it can place a huge strain on you. They may be the one who is struggling – and, hopefully, receiving the right help to resolve their problems – but it's easy to overlook the impact that can have on the people around them.

If someone close to you is depressed, you may feel out of your depth as you try to help them. Your normal strategies, like being encouraging or trying to look on the bright side, might not actually be helpful for your depressed loved one – and may even make them feel worse. Coming up with solutions for the many problems they perceive in their lives might also be unwelcome right now. And we know that depression can be 'contagious', meaning that you might also feel low, or become influenced by their negative and hopeless view of events.

Here are three ways you can help your loved one as they struggle with depression:

1. Understand what they are going through

If you have never experienced depression yourself, it can be bewildering when someone close to you is depressed. But it's incredibly common – one in four people will experience some kind of mental health problem in the course of a year, with the most common form being mixed anxiety and depression. Understanding what depression feels like, what causes it and especially what can help is key.

I strongly recommend Overcoming Depression: A Self-help Guide Using Cognitive Behavioural Techniques, by Paul Gilbert – one of the world's leading experts on depression. You can also find a wealth of information online from charities such as Mind and the Mental Health Foundation.

2. Remember that it's not your job to fix them

When people we love are struggling, it's the most natural thing in the world to try and help them feel better. But when you are depressed it can be incredibly hard to lift your mood, or solve even minor problems that still seem utterly insurmountable because you lack energy, motivation and hope that things will get better. So rather than trying to fix them or gee them up just listen to them, keep showing them you love and care about them, and encourage them to see a mental-health professional, who does have the knowledge and skills to help them get better.

3. Help them take small steps to becoming more active

When you are depressed, you commonly stop doing the things you used to enjoy – partly because you have no energy, and partly because you don't take much pleasure in them any more. But if you stop doing things you enjoy, or that give you a sense of self-worth, your mood will clearly keep getting lower. So – gently – encourage them to do small things, such as going for a walk or to the park, doing some gardening, seeing close friends, going to the cinema, or if they feel up to it helping someone else, like an elderly neighbour (we know that this is especially helpful when you feel down).

If they are drinking heavily, encourage them to cut down or even stop for a while, as alcohol is a depressant. If their diet is really poor, try to get them eating more healthily – perhaps cooking healthy meals for their freezer. And if they aren't doing any exercise, see if you can help them start – regular cardiovascular exercise like swimming or brisk walking is as effective as antidepressants for mild to moderate depression.

Finally, if their depression does not lift after a few months, they may need talking therapy such as cognitive behaviour therapy (CBT), or schema therapy if they have had recurrent episodes of depression. You may need to encourage them to see a therapist – this is especially hard for men – but remind them that one in four people experience a mental health problem at some point in their life; and that therapy is now extremely effective, so it's definitely worth seeking help if their life is a real struggle.

I hope you find this helpful – please also remember to take care of yourself, as this will be a tough time for you too. 

Warm wishes,

Dan

 

Why exercise is key for good mental health

Most psychological problems – such as chronic stress, anxiety or depression – will require some kind of psychological treatment, especially if they persist over time. But it's easy to underestimate the impact of direct physical interventions on psychological problems.

Partly, of course, this is because the whole separation of mind and body is an artificial one – your mind is the product of your brain; hormones play a key role in regulating your moods; psychological problems such as stress and anxiety have a whole range of physiological symptoms... In reality, your mind and body are inextricably linked, with an exquisitely complex feedback system between the two.

So it should come as no surprise that regular physical exercise is key to good mental health. Think of exercise in two main areas: cardiovascular and relaxing. Cardio exercise such as cycling, dancing, racquet sports, football, brisk walking or swimming, weight training or martial arts burns off hormones such as adrenaline and cortisol that are produced when we are anxious or stressed; just 20 minutes of moderate exercise gives you a shot of endorphins, which help you feel happy and calm; and regular cardio exercise is proven to be just as effective as antidepressants for mild to moderate depression (and with no nasty side effects).

Stress-relieving exercise

Relaxing exercise includes yoga, tai chi, gentle swimming or slow walking and is an excellent stress-reliever, especially if you do it in a green space, such as your local park. This kind of exercise activates the relaxation response, which balances out the stress response and helps you feel calmer and more relaxed. If you are suffering from depression, you may lack the energy to do more vigorous exercise, but it's really important to do something even if it's just a walk round the block.

So if you're stressed out, struggling with an anxiety problem or depressed, remember that exercise will really help – and if the problem is short-term, it may be all you need to regain your equilibrium and feel better, so why not give it a try?

And if you would like to book a session, call me on 07766 704210 or email dan@danroberts.com

Warm wishes,

Dan

Do you want to learn mindfulness meditation?

Mindfulness meditation is very much in the news these days. Mindfulness is increasingly being taught in schools, corporations, to athletes, veterans, the police and even MPs in the Houses of Parliament! And for good reason – a regular meditation practice has been proven to help you feel calmer, less anxious and depressed, to respond better to stressful events, deal with chronic pain or illness with greater balance and equanimity, improve concentration, memory and overall wellbeing. 

As someone who teaches my clients to meditate, I have seen first-hand what a difference it can make for people struggling with mental health problems. And as a regular meditator for over six years, I know from personal experience what a profound difference it makes to one's life. I genuinely believe that life is so much happier and more positive as a direct result of my meditation practice and am deeply grateful that I made meditation a part of my daily life.

Learning to meditate

When I am teaching clients to meditate, I first direct them to Mark Williams and Danny Penman's excellent book, Mindfulness: A Practical Guide to Finding Peace in a Frantic World. Mark Williams is a British psychologist who helped develop mindfulness-based cognitive therapy (MBCT), an eight-week programme to help people deal with stress, anxiety and especially recurrent bouts of depression. 

This book is based on the MBCT course, but is also a wonderfully clear and simple guide to mindfulness meditation – it's the perfect place to start if you are interested in bringing the transformative power of mindfulness into your life. It also includes a CD of guided meditations by Mark Williams, which will really help when you're getting started.

If you would like to take an MBCT course, visit the Resources section of my site to find a reputable place to study. I also think that a blend of mindfulness and schema therapy is an excellent way to tackle a wide range of psychological problems. If you would like to know more, email dan@danroberts.com

Warm wishes,

Dan

Overcoming postnatal depression

Postnatal depression, or PND for short, is a very common illness that affects between 10 to 15 in every 100 women having a baby. The symptoms are similar to those in depression at other times, but there are some differences related to being a new mum, worries about your baby's health and wellbeing and being able to cope.

Symptoms include:

•Feeling low, unhappy or tearful for much or all of the time

•Feeling irritable or angry with your partner, baby or other children

•Feeling utterly exhausted and lacking energy

•Despite your tiredness, you may have insomnia and lie there worrying about things throughout the night

•You may lose your appetite, ability to enjoy things and interest in sex

•You might have guilty or negative thoughts

•And you may feel anxious, worrying about your baby's health or whether you are doing a good job as a mother.

As with most health problems, these symptoms can vary in how strongly you feel them and how long they last – if they continue for more than two weeks you may have postnatal depression.

The first thing to say is that, especially if your symptoms are severe or you worry about harming yourself or your baby, it's very important that you see your GP.

If you are not having these thoughts, or your symptoms are milder, it's still really important that you talk to your GP, health visitor, partner and family about it. PND is not your fault, it is nothing to be ashamed of and is very common, so there's no reason to suffer in silence. It worries me that, according to a recent survey, nearly half of all mothers with PND didn't seek help because they were afraid of what might happen to them or their baby. Remember that your GP and health visitor only want to help you with any problems you're having adapting to life as a new mum – including postnatal depression – so there's no reason to keep it secret.

For mild symptoms, just getting a bit more support from your partner, family or close friends will be enough to help. You may also need some help from a counsellor or therapist like me (cognitive behavioural therapy is the most effective treatment for PND). For more severe symptoms you may need a combination of antidepressants and talking therapy – ask your GP about this.

If you want to know more about PND and how to treat it, the PND leaflet on the Royal College of Psychiatrists' website is excellent; I also recommend Overcoming Postnatal Depression: A Five Areas Approach by Christopher Williams, which is a self-help book based on the principles of CBT.

If you would like to book a session with me, email dan@danroberts.com

Warm wishes,

Dan

Five simple steps to combat depression

It’s natural for our mood to fluctuate – everyone feels a little down sometimes. But when that low mood persists for days or weeks, you may be suffering from depression. Telltale signs include persistent negative thoughts; a loss of appetite or libido; feeling exhausted and sleeping more (or less) than usual; struggling to keep up with daily chores; and wanting to avoid other people – what psychologist Paul Gilbert calls ‘go to the back of the cave’ thinking, when you just want to pull the duvet over your head until you feel better.

If you have severe depression – and especially if you are having suicidal thoughts – you should see your GP straight away, because you may need a combination of antidepressants and cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT). But if you have mild or moderate depression, there are plenty of things you can do to lift your mood and start feeling better, either with or without therapy. Here are five of the most helpful strategies I have found for clients suffering from depression:

1. Get some exercise. I can’t speak highly enough of exercise – it’s what evolution designed our bodies for, so when we don’t do it, we suffer. And research has proven cardiovascular exercise like jogging, cycling, swimming or dancing to be as effective as antidepressants for mild to moderate depression. If you’re feeling really low and sluggish, and the thought of vigorous exercise is just too much right now, try going for a walk. Even a few times round the block and a little fresh air will make you feel better.

2. Call a friend. When we get depressed, we tend to isolate ourselves because we can’t be bothered to see other people, or worry about being a burden on them. But isolating yourself means you will just ‘ruminate’ (thinking about your problems over and over) and make yourself feel worse. Call a close friend for some support or, if you’re up to it, an evening’s laughter with friends is wonderful therapy when you’re feeling blue.

3. Stop bullying yourself. When we get down it’s all too easy to start berating ourselves for all the things we wish we had done better, or the mistakes we’ve made in the past. Stop. It does you no good at all and is guaranteed to drag your mood down. Use the ‘best friend test’ – when you are being harsh or unkind to yourself, ask ‘Would I say that to my best friend?’ I bet that 9 times out of 10 you wouldn’t dream of it, so don’t talk to yourself that way either.

4. Help someone else. This may sound odd, but studies consistently show that giving to others helps us feel better about ourselves. Offer to do your elderly neighbour’s shopping or mow their lawn; help out at a homeless shelter; sign up for a charity event for a cause you believe in. When we’re depressed, it’s easy to forget there’s a big world out there – doing something for other people helps you remember that and takes your mind off your own difficulties.

5. Watch what you eat and drink. When we feel bad, it’s easy to drink more alcohol than usual so we can relax and numb uncomfortable feelings. But alcohol is a depressant – so you will feel worse the next day. It also disrupts your sleep, which may already be a problem if you’re down. Go easy on the booze until you feel better. Also watch out for caffeine, because it stimulates the adrenal system. Depression is often mixed with anxiety, so the last thing you need is more adrenaline in your bloodstream. Go for herbal tea instead of regular tea, coffee or chocolate.

If you would like to book a session with me, email dan@danroberts.com

Warm wishes,

Dan

Try loving-kindness meditation

Three of the core Buddhist meditation practices are the body scan, mindfulness of breathing and Metta Bhavana, or loving-kindness meditation. In Pali, the Buddha's language, metta means ‘love’ (in a non-romantic sense), friendliness, or kindness. Bhavana means development or cultivation. But you don't have to be a Buddhist, or have any interest in Buddhism, to benefit from this practice – mindfulness meditation is increasingly taught as a secular, or non-religious series of practices – loving-kindness is one of these.

As a therapist, I help many people who are harshly self-critical or full of self-dislike. Sadly, this internal self-attack often leads to psychological problems like depression, low self-esteem, chronic stress, anger or anxiety. Increasing your sense of kindness and compassion – towards yourself and others – is a proven way to generate positive mental states such as joy, love, calmness, equanimity and strength.

The practice

The full Metta Bhavana practice is traditionally in five stages, so here are the first two – I will go through the full practice in a later post:

1. This practice will take 10 minutes, so switch your phone to silent (if it has a timer, set it to repeat after 5 minutes) and make sure you will not be disturbed. As with all meditation, it's important to attend to your posture, making yourself comfortable on a cushion on the floor or a straight-backed chair, sitting with your spine, neck and head in alignment. Your posture should be upright and alert but relaxed.

2. Bring your awareness into your body, starting in your feet and travelling slowly all the way up to your scalp. If you notice any tension or discomfort, allow that part of the body to soften and relax. Then bring your awareness to the heart region – it can help to place your hand over your heart and feel the warmth this generates. Allow this warmth to permeate into your practice.

3. In stage one, you direct metta towards yourself. You can visualise your face, perhaps seeing the metta as a golden light shining from your heart and enveloping your whole being. Or remember a time when you felt happy, or proud of yourself – there is no set rule, so whatever helps you get in touch with positive feelings towards yourself is fine. (If you don't feel anything, that's not a problem – feelings will come in time, so don't try to force them). Repeat these phrases in your mind: 'May I be well. May I be happy. May I be free from suffering.' Say them slowly and deliberately – this a great gift you are offering yourself, so don't rush it.

4. If you become distracted by thoughts, sounds or body sensations, that's not a problem. Simply notice that your attention has wandered and gently bring it back to the phrases.

5. In part two, we direct metta towards a friend – this should be someone you feel positive about, not a person with whom you have conflict or difficulty. Repeat: 'May you be well. May you be happy. May you be free from suffering.' If you feel like varying the phrases to suit this person, that's fine – so it could be 'May you be free from stress. May you be confident. May you be free from anxiety.' Again, don't force this, but if it happens naturally that's fine.

6. After 10 minutes, allow yourself to sit quietly, noticing if you feel any different than when you started. If not, that's fine, but you may notice a greater sense of softness, an uplift in your mood, or feelings of warmth and friendliness. Just allow whatever's happening right now to be there, then slowly open your eyes and start moving your body; and take this new attitude into the rest of your day.

I very much hope this practice proves helpful for you. If you would like to know more about cultivating greater kindness and compassion for yourself, email dan@danroberts.com

Warm wishes,

Dan 

Bibliotherapy for depression

'Bibliotherapy' is an important part of cognitive therapy, either to run alongside a course of therapy or as a self-help tool. I often recommend books to my clients, partly because there is only so much time in a session, so it's much more useful for them to read up about their particular issue and for us to discuss their findings next week. But I also find that many people like to understand why they might be having problems and find their own strategies for solving them – another important idea in cognitive therapy, because ultimately I want my CBT clients to be their own therapist.

You can read one or all of these books, depending on which appeal to you. You can also read the whole book or dip in to the chapters that seem most relevant to you.

1. Overcoming Depression: A Self-help Guide Using Cognitive Behavioral Techniques, by Paul Gilbert. Part of the excellent Overcoming... series, this is written by one of the world's leading experts on depression. It explains perhaps better than any other book I have read on depression exactly why we get depressed, with particular emphasis on the way our brains are wired to make us vulnerable to depression when we are threatened, or suffer major losses in our lives. Warm, compassionate and eminently readable, this book is also full of practical tools and techniques you can use to tackle your own low mood, with or without the help of a CBT therapist.

2. The Mindful Way Through Depression: Freeing Yourself from Chronic Unhappiness, by Williams et al. This also serves as the perfect introduction to mindfulness meditation, if that interests you – and comes with a CD of guided meditations by Jon Kabat-Zinn, one of the leading figures behind the marriage between mindfulness and modern psychology. As well as providing a wealth of information about why we get depressed and what we can do about it, this book is based on the principles of mindfulness-based cognitive therapy (MBCT), an eight-week meditation programme that research shows is highly effective at treating recurrent bouts of depression. Like Gilbert's book, it is warm, wise and kind-hearted, so is a soothing companion when you're feeling down. 

3. Mind Over Mood: Change How You Feel by Changing the Way You Think, by Dennis Greenberger and Christine A. Padesky. This seminal book remains the best introduction to CBT, almost 20 years after it was first published. Although not written specifically about depression (it is just as useful for any of the other issues mentioned above), if you are suffering from low mood it offers a clear, simple, step-by-step guide to modifying the negative thinking that is at the root of depression. Padesky is perhaps the world's foremost CBT therapist (she was taught by and remains very close to CBT's founder, Aaron Beck), so you can rest assured that the techniques and strategies outlined here are to be trusted.

I hope at least one of these proves helpful – if you would like to book a session with me, email dan@danroberts.com

Warm wishes,

Dan 

Feeling stressed or depressed? Go easy on the news

The media has always portrayed the world through a distorted lens, focusing on and exaggerating bad news, while ignoring or discounting the good. But before 24/7 rolling news and the rise of digital media, it used to be much easier to filter out all the scary, upsetting things happening around the world. Now, they are very hard to avoid – look at any news website, watch TV or check your Facebook feed and you are bombarded with stories that can make the world feel like a scary, dangerous place. It's easy to feel that we are under threat too, which is not helpful if you are prone to anxiety, as you probably over-perceive threats to your safety or wellbeing already.

Although we do face some really unpleasant and frightening threats right now, it's important to remember a few things:

1. We are living through the safest, least violent period in human history. Despite what the media might tell you, crime rates in the West have plummeted over the last 50 years. If we are lucky enough to live in a stable, Western democracy, we are actually extremely safe.

2. Although there have been a spate of truly awful terror attacks throughout Europe, this is not a new phenomenon. I grew up in London, which faced constant threats of attack and regular bombings by the IRA; other terror groups were active throughout Europe, so without downplaying how shocking and horrible the recent attacks have been, we have lived through similar problems before. And the probability of you being involved in a terror attack now is still extremely low.

3. Fear sells. The media have long known this and, sadly, some sections of the media – especially tabloid newspapers – have lost any semblance of caring about their readers' wellbeing, printing lies, mistruths and highly distorted versions of reality that make everything seem frightening and bleak. Just take their treatment of the refugee crisis as an example, or the blatant lies and fearmongering that persuaded so many people to vote for Brexit. 'Never let facts get in the way of a good story,' as the old journalists' joke goes. 

4. If you are struggling with any kind of mental health problem – like stress, anxiety or depression – it might be good to take a news break for a couple of weeks. Reading upsetting stories, or watching violent movies/programmes is not good for your brain, as it will ramp up your feelings of insecurity, fearfulness and being under threat. Be kind to yourself and take a break – remember that just a couple of hundred years ago humans would mostly only get news about their extended family and local community, by word of mouth; no lurid headlines or minute-by-minute coverage of shocking events across the globe. Our brains are not designed for this media bombardment, and countless studies show the negative impact it has on our psychological health.  

So, if you are having a hard time right now, treat yourself with care and either limit or give up your news intake completely for a while. And if you would like help with any kind of psychological problem, email dan@danroberts.com

Warm wishes,

Dan