Do You Find the Festive Season a Struggle? If so, You Are Not Alone
Image by Norman Tsui/Unsplash
This is a post about the festive season, whatever that looks like for you. In the UK, this season is all about Christmas, our national holiday and eat-till-you-burst day of family, fun and festive frolics. To be honest though, I’m not the biggest fan of this much-exalted day. It’s not that I’m against Christmas. I see all the good in it: delicious food, getting to rest and recharge your batteries, time spent with people you love. But I also see the prohibitive cost, especially for people struggling financially or with kids desperate for the latest, shiniest, priciest thing. And the rampant consumerism, with 24/7 ads pressurising us to spend, spend, spend! Buying each other loads of crap we don’t actually need, most of which ends up in landfill. I’m pretty sure that’s not what Jesus would have wanted.
But some people love it and that’s fine. If you do have kids, it is a special day for them, which is also lovely. So, once more, I’m not against Christmas, exactly, I just struggle with the idea that we’re all expected to have a wonderful time (The most wonderful time, in fact) on this one particular day. Because that just ramps up the pressure and expectations – and what if your festive season looks nothing like that?
What if you will spend the holidays alone? Perhaps you just got divorced, so won’t be with your kids this year. You may have suffered a bereavement and so are feeling the absence of your partner, friend or family member all the more keenly. What if you’re estranged from a child or parent? That would be especially heartbreaking at this time of year. Perhaps you are single but desperately wish that were not so and find all the ads, Christmas movies and photos of happy, rosy-cheeked families sharing the love, turkey and mince pies unbearable.
If any of these things are true for you, I would like to send you some non-festive, every-day-of-the-year love and the warmest of thoughts, because I know this time of year can be very hard indeed.
Taking the pressure off
Let’s try a thought experiment. Imagine that the 25th (or 24th, or whichever day you celebrate for whatever reason) is just another day. There is no more nor less reason to feel happy, excited, fulfilled or match up to some perceived way of living your life than any other day. Because, let’s face it, unless you are Christian and have religious reasons for celebrating, it is just another day. And life is hard enough already, right? We don’t need to find reasons to make it even harder, or pile more pressure on to Be Happy!
If you will be alone, could you find a friend, neighbour or anyone else to spend some time with? It doesn’t have to be a big Christmas fest, you could just go for a walk, have a coffee, hang out in any other way. I have a friend whose family is not Christian and has never celebrated Christmas, so it’s not a big deal for her. She volunteers at Crisis every year (for non-UK readers, this is a wonderful homeless charity that feeds, houses and generally cares for people living on the streets over the holidays). I’m pretty sure that’s what Jesus would have wanted.
And if you do have people to spend the holidays with, could you take the capitalism out of Christmas? Laura and I have agreed a maximum limit for presents this year, so will buy each other affordable but thoughtful gifts. I watched a Netflix documentary earlier this year which really opened my eyes to the ways giant corporations like Amazon manipulate us into buying more and more stuff, most of which gets ditched with minimal use. One of the lines that really stayed with me was an expert talking about the idea of throwing stuff away, saying there is no place on our planet called Away. Every single thing we throw away ends up somewhere, often in toxic landfills or exported to poorer countries, which end up with rivers full of our plastic, warehouses overflowing with our discarded electronics and, in the case of Chile, mountains of fast fashion that can be seen from space!
I realise that I sound a bit like the Grinch. So, from the bottom of my heart, I do wish every one of you a restful, restorative, joyful holiday season. And for those of you feeling more dread than excitement about the holidays, sending love, warmth and metta from my heart to yours.
Love,
Dan ❤️
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