Self-Care is not Selfish – it’s Vital in Turbulent Times
Photo by Kaylee Garrett on Unsplash
If, like me, you engage with the news on a daily basis, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed right now. As Donald Trump wreaks havoc in America and casts an avaricious eye over the rest of the world, every day brings a shocking new story. If you care deeply about humanity and those who are struggling, want to protect the natural world and the planet our children will inherit, it’s easy to become disheartened and even depressed.
And that’s totally understandable – I feel depressed and overwhelmed at times. But I also know that this is not the whole story. There is so much good and positive and heartwarming happening in our world too, it’s just not what the media focuses on, because good news stories are not click-baity enough. Two examples: the wonderful Buddhist monks I wrote about recently, on their 2,300-mile Walk for Peace across America. And a mind-boggling new clean-energy park in India that is seven times the size of Paris. It’s part of an unstoppable drive towards clean energy across the world, which fills me with hope for the future.
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Is mindfulness really the answer?
Despite positive stories like these, it’s clear that humanity is facing some grave challenges right now – many of which require us all to take action. So an oft-asked question is whether it’s selfish to practice self-care – which may involve seeking therapy, practicing meditation or yoga, or just treating yourself with greater kindness and compassion – when our love, attention and energy is sorely needed on multiple front lines right now.
And my answer is to consider the bodhisattva. In certain schools of Buddhism like Mahayana, the primary aim of all practitioners is to become a bodhisattva – that is, to generate metta (loving-kindness), karuna (compassion) and other positive mind states not for yourself, primarily, but to ease the suffering of all living beings. This is one of the many reasons I have studied Buddhism for years and have a long-term meditation practice. Of course, I am also seeking to ease my own suffering, but when you practice loving-kindness meditation most of the stages involve beaming that warm, loving force into the world, to a beloved person, neutral person, difficult person and finally all sentient beings.
I do this practice daily, often while lying in bed and emerging from the cocoon of sleep into the waking world. I was motivated to try this by hearing that the first thoughts the Dalai Lama has every day are a profound desire for the happiness of all beings, everywhere. And I thought that’s a lovely idea – instead of worrying about my day, and living through all the busyness before it even starts, I could practice some Compassionate Breathing and then send loving kindness, from my heart to all the people I know are struggling right now.
Of course, just thinking loving thoughts won’t help, say, the poor people being terrorised by ICE in Minnesota (sending so much love to you, if you are there or in another city under siege right now). But it will help generate warm, loving, compassionate feelings in my heart and mind. I can then use that outward-facing love to engage in compassionate activism, like donating to the ACLU, or another non-profit leading the fight against this awful regime.
Sending ripples of kindness into the world
Another reason to practice self-care is that, if we develop a kinder, more loving heart, it’s easier for us to take compassionate action and treat those around us with more care, decency and respect. If, for example, we all learned to behave with a bit more civility on social media and not fall into the black-and-white, right-versus-wrong trap, the world would be an infinitely better place. Offering someone your seat on a busy subway, helping your elderly neighbour, buying that homeless person a sandwich, donating to the local food bank, attending a march to welcome refugees… there are an infinite number of ways to send little ripples of kindness out into the world.
Sadly, an increasing number of people are motivated by dark forces like hatred and hostility to those who don’t have the same skin colour, gender or sexuality. And these people are in turn motivated by bigger, darker forces like Big Tech and the billionaire class, who directly profit from all this ill-will and division. We need an equal force – of love, light and compassion – to counter this darkness. So be a bodhisattva. Choose love, not hate. Kindness, not cruelty. Generosity of spirit, not selfishness or mean-heartedness.
And if you are feeling overwhelmed by it all right now, sending you so much love and strength, from my heart to yours.
Love,
Dan ❤️
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